Partying With Russians Makes My Hair Hurt

I keep intending to update what is going on, but at the moment there is a week long Russian wedding happening at the house...so I'm not really getting much done, other than drinking, and of course, doing stupid stuff! So, here is a bit of my update...finally!

I left my sister's house in Oregon back in mid December as there was too much stress thought the house, and I just really dislike being around constant negativity.  I moved in with my deceased cousin's wife and her family in Washington, and I loved it. It was nice to see her after such a long time, almost 10 years! And getting to know her children was great, her husband makes the BEST clam chowder as well,I really have nothing but awesome things to say for the family, helping me make a huge decision and such. It was nice to be around people who could understand me! But on January 3rd, I decided it was time to head out and attempt to pull off something crazy, something, that if it worked,  wouldn't be forgetting soon!

I began my hitch to Alaska...

It took me about 3 hours to get picked up by a trucker in Kalama, Washington, and finally, I was on my way! The first trucker took me about an hours drive to a nice little area with fast food joints next to a huge truck stop, and from there, a young military guy took me to just next to the Army base in Tacoma. I was then picked up by a couple who were professional at first sight, but they cursed quite a bit, I almost asked them if they were originally from Montana lol. They dropped me in Seattle, and by now I was realizing how long just going this far had taken me...it really didn't boost my morale any.

I stood in Seattle at probably one of the worst spots I could be placed, was told to leave a gas station by a Libyan guy who just happened to be one of the main judges that took Gaddafi down...poor guy now works at a gas station...But, as I was standing in my crappy little corner, where it would be impossible for anyone to see me, a man was going for an evening stroll and decided to talk to me a bit. He said he would finish his walk, and if I was still there, he would take me a little ways to a better spot. He pulled up about 15 minutes later, and took me all the way to Marysville. This guy was pretty cool, when I asked where he was from, he hesitated a bit before he answered "the Middle East." To show him not to be worried, I got excited and asked exactly where (I used to live with an Iraqi family, so I knew he was Iraqi, I just wanted to hear his answer). He replied that he is from Baghdad, and we began talking about the Middle Eastern culture and how in reality, it differs greatly than the views of those Americans who worship Fox News...

 From Marysville, a couple of sisters picked me up and took me to Bellingham, nice girls that are stir crazy to work in Alaska for the summer. Next, is my most memorable ride...

Probably the two craziest ladies I have ever met, and one of their poor husbands, picked me up in Bellingham and took me to Blaine, Washington...When I sat in their car, immediately, they turn around and ask "Have you met Jesus Christ?" I said no, not personally...but they didn't really get a kick out of my dry joke. They were telling me about all this religious stuff, then at the gas station they dropped me at, they began talking shit about each other to me...it was pretty insane, the things they had to say about one another...

The gas station attendant allowed me to pass out in the station behind a wall, then woke me in the morning to take me to a gas station that should have been hitchhiker friendly...but in the end, I will never forget how horribly I was treated at this station...and I don't feel guilty for calling them out on it!

...To be continued...

Regarding Travel Pictures...

I have a blog that is strictly photography, I will be updating it bit by bit, I only have a few posts up, but if you are interested, go to: www.akilinastravelphotos.blogspot.com

"I'm gonna eat the shit outta this hot dog," in Bucharest, Romania (after 3 months of no pork in Turkey)

Heartbreak in the States

Aaaaannnnnddddd....

The depression sets in...

To go from hitchhiker experiencing new things almost everyday, with the motto "Do at least one thing a week that you have never done" to going one month doing mundane things, attempting to live as just another average American...eh, I'm sick of it already. I can't do this anymore...I'm going crazy, and I don't know what to do...

I went from freezing freedom to warm depression...I think I would rather be cold, but free without the constraints of what others around me want me to do, as well as what society urges of me, than to be warm and looking for a 9-5 job...my heart aches, but it is winter, and I'm back in the states...

Sometimes...most times...I wish I had just gone back towards Turkey, back to that hostel in Sultanahmet in Istanbul...warm for the winter, then in spring head back in Westwards...I would have been able to hit what I didn't manage to hit while I was in the Schengen Zone...I was just tired of not knowing where I would sleep every night...and Romanian truck drivers.

Its weird to be around family...I feel like no matter what I do, I offend someone, piss someone else off, someone takes what I am saying the wrong way, then relays it to someone else, who then turns around and gets pissed off at me...anything I say isn't worth listening to, I am nothing and nobody...my experiences don't matter, I am still treated as a 3 year old...If I sit I'm in trouble, if I stand I'm in trouble...I wait for someone to do what they say they will do...then I get in trouble for not doing that thing which I must depend on someone else's help for...one day, no one can take me, I will have to find a different place to work, and the next day..."Why didn't you apply there yet?"

I do everything in my power to not say anything against anyone...and I don't! and yet, because everyone is so used to disliking a particular person, they expect me to dislike them, then when said person is in good graces again, all the sudden it was I who supposedly had something against this person (and I don't know why, because I never had problems with said person)... I get to hear the same complaints over and over...

Too much drama...I would rather be on the road, depending on myself, and knowing that if something is messed up, its all on me, and no one else...because here, I am not allowed to speak knowing that someone will pass judgement on to everyone else...

Sometimes, I look out that window, next the the couch which I call my bed...and know that I can just pack up my things and walk out...I can depend on my thumb to get me anywhere...even without a dime in my pockets...I can be free of the drama...but it is snowing...and I have yet to hitch in the snow...

I am back to the strong, horrible feeling of "Toska," and it tears my heart out...I should have never left Europe...I am homesick for nowhere...what does one do about that kind of feeling? How can I get that feeling of freedom, and utter love from the universe back?

...I'm heart broken