Tuesday, October 29, 2013

Thoughts of a Disgruntled Hitchhiker / The Hitch From Barcelona to Paris

Ah! This hitch was particularly a great nuisance…not only did it take my Russian friend Marina and I over eight hours to be picked up, I had issues with my luggage, and the timing of just getting out of Barcelona!
The day we knew we would hitch out of Barcelona (October 22nd), I wanted to head out onto the road first thing in the morning. Most hitchers know that this is the correct way of going about things. However, due to an Apple appointment Marina had made, my first bag falling to pieces, getting 15 Euro for the second bag, the second bag being defective…we didn’t get out onto the road until about 7 p.m. When we finally got to a gas station out of the city, we still weren’t picked up until about 2 or 3 a.m.

I have a hitcher’s code when it comes to hitching with friends. Basically, if one person is uncomfortable about the ride, both must get out, until they find a ride that is comforting to BOTH. Marina and I were picked up by two “Yugoslavian” men…annoying beyond belief, who I had only got in with since we were only going to ride to the next gas station with them. Marina became comfortable with their weirdness (she was annoyed a lot as well though), and we ended up riding all the way to Paris with them…If I was alone, I would have NEVER gotten into the car with them…so, I spent over 12 hours in a car with two men I was COMPLETELY uncomfortable with, because Marina didn’t want to get out of the car. I still think we would have fared much better if we had had a few different rides, rather than one long, annoying one!
So, here are the musings of a supremely annoyed hitchhiker:


October 23rd, 2013  approx. 2 p.m., France

Marina and I are currently in the car with 2 men from “Yugoslavia.” they picked us up from a Shell station outside of Barcelona at about 3 a.m., we are still in the care headed to Paris.

These men are awkward, we speak to them using Russian, Spanish, French, tiny amounts of English…I am extremely annoyed by them. They are the “every woman wants me” men, no matter how ugly, smelly, and idiotic they are. One tried telling us he is only 32 (more like 52) and not married (I see a tan line where his wedding ring was).

They speak nothing but nonsense, repeating the same things over and over again, our brains are exhausted from this nonsense. I tell Marina that we should have them drop us off, they smell like bad B.O. while trying to look classy by wearing business suits. One tells us he thinks he looks like Antonio Banderas, Marina and I exchange glances while we roll our eyes…

they drive like idiots! Had I only known they were Serbian, I wouldn’t have left with them…Marina just really wanted to get to Paris, so we put up with all of this, even though I know we can get a better ride.

They received a phone call and are now yelling at one another, the car is now going 200km/h…
They asked Marina and I to smuggle gold and diamonds for them from Spain to France at 3-5,000 euro/trip. No thanks! So I assume the yelling is about their business. It smells like armpits again, the driver keeps sticking his elbow on the window… 
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140 km to Paris! The passenger (the worse of the two) continually puts his left hand on the back of the head rest of the driver, presumable to show off his ring-free hand, I ask him what his wife thinks of his “business,” he answers “I don’t have a girlfriend.” I don't know if that’s his smart ass answer to my question, or if he is bypassing my “wife” comment. 

They have asked me to speak Arabic with them (and they respond with incorrect responses when I do)…Just a couple of clueless, Ignorant Eastern European men…


We finally arrive in Paris, and within a couple hours, we see the Eiffel Tower for the first time in our lives…

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